Heather Menzies

March 16, 2022

How To Tell Your Family and Friends You Are Eloping 

The Blog

So, you’ve decided. You’re eloping. Now the question arises, how do I tell my family and friends? 

One of the biggest challenges you may face once you’ve decided to elope is actually telling people you are eloping. 

The truth is, not everyone may understand. I think having that realization going into the process will make it a lot easier. However, those who do understand are likely the same ones who will be very excited for you and your partner. 

Here are some 3 tips on how to tell your friends and family you’re eloping. 


 1. TELL THOSE CLOSEST TO YOU, AS SOON AS POSSIBLE AND IN PERSON, IF YOU CAN 

Show of hands for whose family started asking them a million questions about your wedding the moment you got engaged? The good news: they are excited for you. The not-so-good news: it can be really hard to tell someone who is excited for you that you are eloping and not having a traditional wedding. 

It is a natural human instinct to want to avoid conflict and not hurt people’s feelings. No one likes hurting people or causing others to feel disappointed. But I have learned that it is best to tell your family and friends your decision early-on (that is of course if you are deciding to tell them you are eloping). 

I am always a big advocate for setting your own personal boundaries and communicating things clearly from the beginning. It might help avoid a lot of heartache, for both you and those you love, if you are honest from the start. 

Telling them face-to-face means they can see how excited you are about your decision, and gives you the opportunity to answer any questions they might have. 

It might be scary, but I assure you, it will be worth it. 

2. EXPLAIN YOUR REASONS FOR CHOOSING TO ELOPE 

I have found that in elopement announcements, people’s first thoughts might be that you are choosing to elope because of them. I think your family and friends just want to be reminded that they are important to you and that your reason for eloping isn’t about them, but about you and your partner. 

So, explain your reasons for WHY you chose to elope. It is different for every couple, whether it is not wanting to spend a lot of money, choosing honeymoon travel over a wedding day, wanting a more intimate setting, or simply wanting to avoid wedding planning / wedding day stress, explain your reasons. 

Whatever they are, simply explain. And if they see this is what YOU really want, then why would they have to be unsupportive? 

3. DON’T LET FAMILY AND FRIENDS TAKE OVER YOUR ELOPEMENT

It is important to set boundaries and uphold them. And an important reminder: this day is all about you. 

Telling people you are eloping can mean opening your day up to opinions, but set clear intentions from the beginning of the conversation. Communicate that you are not asking for input on whether you should elope or not, but are simply allowing them to be present with you. 

Admittedly, it may be difficult for individuals to re-center the day on you when they had many dreams and expectations of what they thought your day would be. But the truth is, your day was always supposed to be about you. You are simply reminding those you love of that truth.


If you have any questions or you’re ready to start your elopement journey, get in touch! I’d love to help you make your dream day a reality.

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