Heather Menzies

March 9, 2022

Should I Tell My Family I Am Eloping?

The Blog

Should you tell your family you are eloping?

Simple answer: it is up to you. Less simple answer: it is not always that simple. 

Let’s talk about it.

The truth is, you may have chosen to elope because your family dynamics are complicated. You also may have chosen to elope because you want your day to be about just you and your partner. 

You have two options here, really. 

The First Option: Tell Your Family 

The first option is to tell your family you are eloping. If you feel as though your family can be excited for you, remain objective and respect your boundaries, then go for it! Allow those who are excited for you to BE excited for you. 

Pro tip #1: you do not have to tell everyone in your family. Tell those who are closest to you and those you trust to keep it between you. It might feel harsh, but some people may not need to know you are getting married until after the fact. 

Pro tip #2: set boundaries at the beginning of the conversation. Communicate that you are not asking for input on whether you should elope or not. You are simply letting them in to the surprise of the day and allowing them to be present with your journey. 

The really cool thing about eloping is that you get to build your own journey and how you would like it to be. 

The Second Option: Don’t Tell Your Family

If you are choosing to elope because the idea, dynamics and feelings surrounding a wedding are complicated, then you don’t have to tell anyone. It can be a day for just you and your partner, without any complications, hurt feelings or commitments. 

Pro tip #1: send an elopement announcement card after your big day! 

If you are wanting to announce your elopement in a way that is unique to you, send a card! You can include photographs of your day from your photographer (hopefully that’s yours truly!) with any details of the day you want to include. You could even include a component called The Story and write the story of your day for all of those who receive to read. It can allow those who may not have known to feel like they are getting an announcement just like everyone else. 

Pro tip #2: it is not selfish to not tell anyone you are eloping. The truth is, eloping isn’t selfish. It is choosing the love you and your partner have first, which if I am honest, is a good sign for how the rest of your lives will go.

If you want someone to talk more about this with, or simply want to learn more about eloping, get connected with me!

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